“It isn’t a spontaneous quick fix, cure-all or “never struggle again” solution, but an ongoing process. Learning by practicing every day enhances my awareness and how I manage to deal with the variety of circumstances in day to day life.”
The quality of my life had disintegrated and I was stuck in a place of constant chaos. The days continued to fill me with the feelings of angst. I need to calm down the hyper vigilance and turn off the survival response alarm… I came upon to take Usha’s class Mindful Meditation with hopes to gain emotion regulation and manage symptoms resulting from severe trauma. Prior treatments and methods failed in delivering long lasting success and/or enable my ability to stabilize and cope when challenges surfaced. A basic non-complex skill that formed firm, supportive, constant, and adaptive foundation that offered easy sustainable growth….what the methods missed in matching my “chemistry”.
Usha’s teaching style, her natural authentic demeanor of approachable and non-abrasive interaction, allowing input without criticism, offering adjustment suited to an individual’s learning style, instilled my success. I felt the ambiance inviting and non- threatening and therefore continued to attend sessions. The what, why, and how of Mindfulness was explained in easy to understand non excessive details. I did not leave the classroom feeling overwhelmed and unable to recall the information to practice the methods – my homework assignment. Usha’s openness in sharing with her life in having challenges, what led her to practice mindfulness meditation, what changes resulted for her…. Candid truth that she is a teacher who walks what she talks. Honest truth absent of ego or self serving
agenda …..The frosting on the cake! This ignited initiative and how I began to succeed.
I began to prioritize daily the time, effort, and consistently continue practicing. The changes were subtle but clearly noticeable – first pointed out to me by others “noticing something was different about me”- then as I slowly began to feel a shift inside myself I became more aware of a difference- an awareness and how I might not have ability to prevent or change what I face, the only control I have is managing the thoughts that arise and choosing my action or response to such.
It isn’t a spontaneous quick fix, cure all and never struggle again solution, but an ongoing process. Learning by practicing every day enhances my awareness and how I manage to deal with the variety of circumstances in day to day life. I no longer become consumed with emotion to spiral into frenzy, nor do I shove down unpleasant emotions by numbing (ignoring) the sensations.
Instead I acknowledge and may somewhat access as to what is causing such, then gently shift this to a neutral state by bringing my thoughts, mind to focus mentally on what I am doing. This is the part of awareness that results and becomes more apparent as one continues…. Set apart a few moments each day to meditate- practice focus with awareness. There isn’t just one technique that Usha taught….experiment with these to find what works for you. Personally I find myself using one and then add in another. I may only have time for a short method (i.e. focus on breath for only 3 min.) or ability and need of longer practice (i.e. 45 min on breath) and possibly add in body relaxation.
There are times when I “catch” my thoughts building more thoughts realizing (awareness) that these rose upon facing a confrontational personality (i.e. an angry person). Amazing that I can now while be
yelled at I am able to “slow my roll…flip the script” by doing this: focus on my breath and change thinking “how dare you” “what a jerk” to “May you be patient…may your struggles ease…May your anger cease…succeed to find peace….” First towards the person yelling at me and then directing these thoughts towards myself. The feeling of fear subsides and I don’t end up like a frightened dog…crawling on ground shaking and peeing on self or end up standing frozen in place as a deer caught in the headlights of a car.
Yes, I am pleased with the results of Mindful Meditation: Each item on my list of hopeful expectations and more have and continue to remain as ongoing. In addition these techniques bring enhancement and tie in with former and present therapy treatment as I continue to overcome the fallout of severe, complex traumatic experiences. This does take time however, I feel myself mending, less broken apart and lost from self, and less doomed to live halfway ….slowly dying shortly after age 60 or before age 64. Credit is greatly due to Usha….she instilled the ability …initiated my drive and therefore created the result of my with practicing techniques successfully. Thank you, Usha for teaching others a way to live life a bit happier and with more ease.